Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind

I don't ever want to erase you. Ever.

Favorite Scene

You're a fool if you haven't watch this movie.

Dafuq

Symptoms of gays:

Have a muscular body and like to show their body by wearing V-neck and sleeveless clothes; 

Prefer tight and light-coloured clothes; 

Attracted to men; and

Like to bring big handbags, similar to those used by women, when hanging out.

Symptoms of lesbians:

Attracted to women;

Besides their female companions, they will distance themselves from other women;

Like to hang out, have meals and sleep in the company of women; and

Have no affection for men.

OK.

No One Would Understand

Kalau tanya aku duit lagi penting atau bahagia lagi penting, aku susah hati, sebab kalau takde duit pun aku susah nak bahagia. Tapi kalau orang tanya aku sanggup ke tak nak korbankan duit sebab nak bahagia, aku sanggup.

Tapi orang lain tak faham kot. Entah. Macam biasa, sorang-sorang lagi.

Sadness Is A Blessing

Writing this down on my way to Kelana Jaya, inside the LRT. It's 7:35PM but it's so dark like it's after 8:00. And I'm alone.

This is the feeling I hate the most, because it's the most sad feeling, ever. Away from home, and being alone at night. Should snap out of it and rejoice. Tomorrow will be a brand new day, in hell. 

Douchebag

I'll take a toast for you, of course. When you're gone. Then it would be perfect.

New Phase

I'll be starting my new job, as an accountant, on next Monday which is just two days away! I'm not that excited, but I do feel relieved though. At least I gotta earn my own money now. Can't stand staying at home being helpless all alone, and keep thinking I'm 22 and I can't even help my mom. That's about to change, I hope.

P.S: I don't know if I sound angry all the time but believe me I'm not. I mean, NOT ALL THE TIME. It's just impossible to be serene and calm when you're living in the most inconvenient place with these lazy... (About to use inappropriate words so I better stop here.) My point is, I'm an angry person, I am. But I don't just "fire" (malay term) people all the time. Sometimes I can be straightforward and very honest because I speak my mind, loudly. I didn't see any harm in doing that, until I realised...that people see me as a bitter, angry, unpleasant kind of person (I think. And I'm 80% positive about that.)

So I just wanna clear this up. I'm telling you here while not being emotionally attached but rather with a straight, rational mind that I rather be like this. Because, being all bubbly...and "I'm so happy!" "Yeaay just bought a new bag and shoes and..." that's just not my thing. Yeah of course I CAN be happy! Like when I'm happy when I went for a date with my boyfriend. But I can't ignore the fact that there's just so many people that are so annoying and hence lead me to tweet whatever I feel... So no, I wasn't being ANGRY. I'm just saying how I FEEL. And apparently I sound unpleasant...? Well, that's just me. Not sorry, at all. Hehehe!

Alone

Not in my best mood to do anything - answering calls, texts, mentions whatsoever because... I don't know... Just because. Somehow the energy I've been saving up this week was swept clean from what happened last night. Right now I just wanna crawl myself to bed not thinking of anything, tidur sampai lebam. And re-energize myself.

Got tones to do next week. And will be starting job in two weeks time. Big sigh... Kill me already.

Drooling Bulan Puasa

Yang terbaru:

Meleleh.

Before/After

I used to be just like this.

And now I'm nothing but this.

22 Today

I am 22 today.

22, broke and jobless.

Sedih gila bunyi. Takpelah nak buat macam mana. Duduk rumah pun tak sampai sebulan lagi, result exam pun baru dapat. Lega...tak jangka sungguh, gila puas hati result kali ni. Syukur syukur.

Tak sabar nak buka puasa hari ni!

Never Let Me Go

Selepas Running Man, benda ini lah yang aku addicted. I love you Flo.

Satisfactory

Band 4 - Competent user. Satisfactory command of the language. Satisfactory expressive and fluent,appropriate language but with occasional inaccuracies. Satisfactory understanding of language and contexts. Functions satisfactorily in the language.

Satisfactory is the key word. Fascinating how the description fits me well. Wasn't hoping for more than this to be honest. I'm glad.

Long Distance Relationship

Say what you may, I don't believe in long distance relationship (LDR).

By not believing, I mean I don't think LDR would work, not without pain and hassle and every effort of the two persons who are in the relationship. I have my reasons for not believing it. First is based from my experience of being away from my partner for almost 4 months that made me lost interest in him and in the relationship that I broke it off without feeling nothing. I guess it wasn't love.


Second, I couldn't bear thinking of the struggles both person have to commit along other things they have to focus on. Unless they are wealthy enough to make phone calls, meet every now and then and even have a wider point of view on the foundation of relationship (open relationship and whatnot), I couldn't see myself fitting in those shoes.


I know they are hardly concrete reasons to point out that LDR cannot work, but what about my observation on the people around me committing to their LDRs? Never that I found even ONE LDR that went well. I am not talking about the fights and the stress and the heartbreaks that even the normal couples went through, that would not suffice to reject such relationship. I am talking about the loyalty of the persons in the LDR. Often I found if not both, one of them is cheating behind the other person's back, usually without the knowledge of that person who is thousand miles away. I couldn't stand seeing that, and I couldn't stand thinking of myself doing that to the person I love. I'm not saying that women would not cheat, but often the cheater in LDR is the men.


So those are my arguments. Wrote this to remind myself that I do not actually want to further my studies overseas, first because I would be TERRIBLY HOMESICK only God knows how, and I don't want to be away from all the persons I love. It's not about making sacrifices to them, no, it is about making my own decision that I do not want to. Unless I could bring all of them together with me, then that is the place I want to be, home.

Kesayangan

Petang tadi singgah rumah di KL sekejap, sebab nak ambil barang-barang sikit, tertinggal. Jumpa si kecik ini. Masuk-masuk rumah terus panggil dia. Dia nampak aku terus dia panggil "Along!" dan datang peluk aku. Lepas aku dah mengemas barang, kakak dia lagi seorang minta tolong aku bawak si kecik pergi 7-Eleven, menumpang kereta kawan baik yang baik hati hantarkan aku balik rumah. Si kecik ini pun ikut. Pemalu betul dia, peluk tangan aku kuat betul masa nak masuk keluar kereta. Sebab? Malu. Hmm. Malu pun aku sayang! Sayang sangat. Hari-hari rindu! Lagi dua minggu Along balik ya? Hehehe Chak gemok!

It Has Been A Month

The months before the past 4 weeks seems like the good old days I'm longing for; no headaches, no waking up at 7AM every single day, and hassle-free. Despite all the grunts I made every morning wishing I didn't have to go to the classes, I somehow enjoying all of these. This is my last chance of doing it.

Hello cosmic world.

I've started my final semester of Bachelor in Accountancy and I have another 10 weeks to go before the final exams. And this is the 'final' final exams. Taking only 6 papers/subject this semester, I find it rather... relaxing. Wait, no. Scratch that. I would be much more loosen up if I didn't have to spend almost all my night time thinking about endless group discussions/presentations/whatnot.

But I'm not complaining, no. And I don't know if it's just me but... Everyone seems different this time. Not I-used-to-be-fat-now-I'm-hot-ask-me-how kind of different but, something has changed in them. And it is a good change. I guess I've changed too. Experience makes up a person.

Some good food and great companions, I wonder how long this would last.

Lana Del Rey vs Adele

Isn't it funny when Adele's 21 album that won big at the Grammy, which songs were written beautifully (hence the Grammy) can sound sooo boring beside Lana Del Rey's Born To Die crappy lyrics (no offense here, she wrote her own songs, that ought to count for something) and what with her SNL "worst" performance but managed to capture my interest to actually listen through the songs until the end?

Yes, it is funny.

Hantu Hindustan

Aku lah hantu itu! Hehehe. Waktu kecil memang kaki hindustan. Dah masuk sekolah menengah malu sikit nak tengok. Masuk MRSM kawan-kawan sibuk menyanyi hindustan aku senyap je, malu nak menyanyi sama-sama (PANG!). Bila dah duduk rumah sewa memang naik hantu balik! Maklumlah housemates pun semua kaki hindustan.


Minggu lepas Kuch Kuch Hota Hai! Sudah berapa tahun tak tengok. Penuh timeline Twitter update cerita Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Yang lelaki pun sama, lepas habis tayang penuh "Sebenarnya Aman hero cerita ini. Cayalah!" Eheh. Waktu kecik tengok hindustan dengan waktu dah besar tengok hindustan, berbeza perasaan. 'Tengok' cerita itu, 'nampak' benda yang lain. Tanda kematangan? Poyo.


Minggu depan Sangam! Ini zaman Mak aku punya hit filem ini. Harus tengok!

Hail Queen Melanie

Melanie is perfection. No wonder she won the competition. Season 8 is sick! Next week's episode: LADY GAGA woohoo!

Beckhams Overload

Truly Beck-gasms.

The Cutest Box

Hai, maaflah. Bila duduk rumah tiga bulan ini apa je yang mampu dibuat. TV, Internet, novel. Blog pun penuh update video best yang aku tengok dekat TV je.


This is The Box from Got to Dance UK Season 1. The cutest contestants ever these kids, rasa nak bawak balik simpan sorang-sorang. They through until the final round tau, tapi tak menang. Yang menang Akai that 10 year-old boy menari street dance those Battle Dance contest kat Malaysia itu boleh rasa malu dengan diri sendiri tengok Akai ni menari.


Okay cerita The Box. Ini my favorite performance on the semi-final stage. Cute.

We Found Love

Rih Rih is gorgeous, although I'm always confused with her fashion sense. But she looked stunning on the Grammy yesterday.





Love this outfit of hers. My favorite part is when she ran on the moving platform and afterwards was just, the bomb.

Diversity

If you think this is sick,









Wait until you watch this!





MAN I SOOO WANNA DANCE!









Or not. Back to chores.

#Hashtags Are Meant For Twitter

Menurut kefahaman aku:-

Guna Facebook untuk update status, kadar setiap status minima setiap sejam satu status; upload photo albums, comment dan like status/komen/gambar/wall posts/etc. kawan-kawan, dan sebagainya.


Guna Twitter untuk tweet, apa saja yang kau rasa nak tweet silalah tweet, akaun kau punya, bukan aku yang bayar. Kadar satu tweet mungkin setiap 5 minit satu tweet, bergantung kepada berapa ramai jumlah following kepada follower kau. Kalau dia follow sikit, kau dianggap spamming timeline. (But this is hardly the case. If you're spamming the timeline, you are spamming the timeline. Regardless the follower/following counts.)


Guna blog untuk menaip apa sahaja yang sedang difikirkan, membaca blog orang lain, menghias blog dengan cantik, menambah widget-widget yang kadang-kadang tidaklah perlu pun tapi silakan aje nama pun blog kau bukan blog aku. Kadar mengupdate blog adalah terpulang, sehari sekali pun mencukupi.


Guna Foursquare untuk check-in to places you go, untuk kumpul points, and unlock badges. Kadar setiap check-in maybe setiap sejam dua satu check-in, takkan pukul 9 kau check-in kat KLCC pukul 10 kau check-in Genting pulak. Contoh.


Guna WhatsApp untuk berchatting dengan rakan-rakan yang tidak menggunakan BlackBerry (maka mereka tiada BBM). Kadar nak WhatsApp ikut suka kau lah. Kadar tukar status, aku tak tahu sebab aku tak jumpa orang kerap tukar status di WhatsApp.


Guna BBM juga untuk berchatting, dengan rakan-rakan yang menggunakan BlackBerry. Selain itu boleh tukar avatar BBM, update status, display lagu yang sedang didengari di BlackBerry anda, broadcast (stupid) messages kepada semua contacts, join BBM groups, and create a custom chatroom by inviting specific contacts you want to chat with. Kadar berchatting ikutlah suka sebab rugi dah guna BlackBerry murah tak berhubung. Kadar menukar avatar mungkin minima 2 hari sekali. Kadar menukar status mungkin sehari setakat 3 kali.

Menurut apa yang aku faham lah.


Tapi kenapa ada orang update status BBM lebih 20 kali sehari?

Cari medium yang sesuai. Ada Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare etc. Guna setiap networking sites dengan betul. Kalau rajin meng-update status, you might wanna use Twitter instead. Kalau rajin check-in, mungkin Foursquare is more suitable for you than Facebook check-ins. Kalau suka type panjang-panjang melalut-lalut macam aku tengah buat ini, here's a blog.


Malas cakap panjang. Setiap individu lain-lain kisahnya. Kalau recent updates kau lebih 20 kali sehari aku delete je. No hard feelings. Snot like we ever chatted on BBM anyway.

Super Bowl XLVI

TEBOW!

Ini lagi hebat dari #Tebow moment! Madonna is one fucking cool makcik. Umur 53 masih boleh flip badan, shufflin', vocal tak goyang, and rock the Super Bowl Halftime Show. It pains me to say this, but I don't think Gaga can top this. Not saying that she's "reductive", I'm #TeamGaga all the way.


Vogue, Music, Give Me All Your Love (or is it Luv or Loving?) and Like a Prayer. Stage lawa gila nak mampuih. Favorite aku adalah Vogue. Sebab memang classy vogue. Teehee.


And what's sweeter than this is, well obviously is the fact that Giants won the Super Bowl! Naah I'm not a huge fan of American football but I'd rather watch Giants lose than watching soccer. By soccer I meant English Premier League. Or whatever they call it. I can't stand English football, they are just plain, boring. But that's just me. But other leagues sure I'd love to watch.


Supporting Giants just because I would like to think myself as a New Yorker. LOL! Heh so what? Although I don't like the game as much as Niners or Saints game, these two teams can bring the most intense game ever. Tak kisah lah. Eli Manning won the MVP though as much as I hate to admit this Tom Brady played much better than Manning just now. Gotta give credit where credit is due.


Tweet-ed like a maniac. Next up is the Grammy award. Next Monday 9:00AM. May Gaga win.

Shit You Won't Hear in Malaysia

LOL! Credit to BlogSerius, found this video on the blog.

Regina Spektor

I love Regina Spektor. I think she's a great artist who makes great songs. I haven't listen to all her songs yet but I'm on my way. Both Far and Begin To Hope album are already on my playlist and I've got to give it to her; She's amazing. I'm glad that she didn't go "mainstream" because it's so hard to find good artist that could maintain their awesomeness when they were underground, with a few exceptions lah of course, one of them is Coldplay.



My favorite Regina Spektor's song is Hero. Featured in 500 Days of Summer, yeah I know the movie is big but this song is bigger.

If you don't love her after Hero then wait until you listen to these - Edit, Laughing With, Eet, Us, Machine; honestly they are good.



She kinda reminds me of Sia, although Sia's latest album really disappoints me. I only like Titanium although I find the video clip is stupid. Well, happy Friday everyone. It's the end of the week. Rejoice!

Axe - Anarchy

BITCH PLEASE. This is sexy.

Awan Nano / #TeamYuna

Congrats Awan Nano (performed by Hafiz; composer Dato' M. Nasir; lyricist Budi Hikayat) for winning the Anugerah Juara Lagu. It is a great song which I love (it is extremely rare for me to get hook with a Malay song) so I'm happy with the result.



And please don't give me that crap that "Malaysians are not ready for your music" dear #TeamYuna. Malaysians are not stupid. I agree that she's in a different league than the majority of the local singers and she has been very successful globally as well as locally. That means Malaysians are "ready" with her type of music although I can't work out what is it that makes people thought her music are so "different" than others. And come on, how long has she been singing before she went international? Quite long I think. I used to like her songs waaaay before she went mainstream and that... What was the title of the song again? That played on a radio and turned super shitty. "Oh bulan..." Well, compared to the original record lah. Can't remember the title, sorry. Anyone dare to enlighten me please?



She's a favorite. People expect her to win. I had not heard both Gadis Semasa and Penakut until yesterday, so I don't think I'm in a legit position to judge the quality of the song. All I can say is with performance like that... (?) Yuna menyanyi please buka mulut sikit ya sayang. Nasihat ikhlas. I couldn't work out what she was singing for God's sake, so it was very disappointing for me and turn me off to actually listen, that leads me to not even expecting her to win.



Accept the fact that she is a smart businesswoman who can make money in singing as well as in fashion line. She writes and composes her songs. She inspire people. I give her credit for all of that. But is that good enough to land her the Juara Lagu title? No. Please acknowledge the difference between a good written and composed song with meaningful (and making sense) lyrics performed by a good vocalist, and what not.

If she supposed to win yesterday, she would have win yesterday.

PS: And why the fuck she took Another Way to Die intro for her Gadis Semasa intro?

Anugerah Juara Lagu 26

Penat cari teaser ini kat YouTube. Jumpa jugak, walaupun kualiti video tak berapa baik. Aku suka teaser ini. Aku rasa style, smart. Classy. Kalau teaser ini dibuat untuk tarik minat orang yang asalnya tak berminat nak tengok Juara Lagu malam ini, aku ucap tahniah, kerana anda berjaya. BTW aku suka part Jaclyn flip hair itu. Style siottt.



Aku haram tak tahu lagu-lagu yang masuk sampai tengok iklan dia. Berapa kerat lagu je aku tahu. Awan Nano, Sg Lui, Kalau Berpacaran dengan Cinta freaking Muka Buku. Lagu Yuna aku haram tak pernah dengar (!). Eden tak minat Yuna dooo. Jadi tak boleh nak kata aku vote lagu mana. Aku pilih vokal je. Awan Nanonanonanonanonano #FTW!

RIP Etta James

Christina Aguilera and Stevie Wonder on piano (if I'm not mistaken, I apologise if I'm wrong) on Etta James' funeral. RIP.

Romantic Wedding Proposal

#ManlyTears

#1 Bestfriend

Thank you God!

Baru sekejap tadi kawan aku yang dah laaaaaama sangat aku tak jumpa, tak contact, tak dengar khabar WhatsApp-ed aku! Tersangat lah seronok! Perasaan tak boleh nak kata, sebab bahagia amat! Sebab? Sebab dia kawan baik aku yang fesssssssss sekali (1st sekali!) Back in SAB lah maknanya. Yang aku tak tahan nak tergelak sampai sudahnya sebab satu line dia yang agak kurang boleh blah. Mula-mula dia WhatsApp tanya "Laily?" Nombor aku tak kenal. Aku ada nombor dia tapi rupa-rupanya nombor itu dia dah hilang. Dia suruh teka bila aku cakap aku tak kenal, "Guess game" katanya. Aku malas, tapi aku layan, "Hints?"


Dia balas.
"SAB." Aku ramai kawan SAB.


"Zul lompat lari atas katil."


Pap! WAWA!!! Oh my God aku kenal ini siapa! Hahahahahahahahhaa! Cuma sebab satu line itu je.


Gila babi memori budak ini. Aku rasa nak kira inside (stupid) jokes kitorang dulu memang haram aku nak ingat dah. Tapi dia masih ingat. Sekarang nampak siapa lagi kawan baik kepada siapa? Insaf.


Aku bersyukur, sebab sepanjang minggu aku dok terfikir pasal kawan-kawan lama. Aku cari takat mana yang ada tapi terlupa pasal Wawa. Some friend I was. Terima kasih Wawa sebab cari aku dulu. You are, literally, the BEST bestfriend I have ever had. Honestly from the bottom of my heart, you are. Or, were. I hope we could become bestfriend once again. This time I'll never let you go, again.

I'm so HAPPY!!! Can't you tell?!

Reminisce

Went to my new Facebook profile's timeline and realised how good Mel and I used to be. How good Izzi and I used to be. How good Adek and I used to be. How strong and beautiful these friendships were. Ramai lagi. Faiq, Ez, Syira, Shah, the rest of my batch mates, old friends Hilman, Alip, Sarah, old classmates, long lost friends, even family members.


LE SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH.


*Also, the crazy obessions of Twilight between me and Aer. Aereena if you're reading this I just want you to know that I'm praying the best for you and your family. May you have a strong heart.

Friends

Browsing through Facebook and Twitter today searching for my old friends. Both back in SAB and Taiping. The feelings were... Kinda weird, but pleasant at the same time. And a little worries. Weird because I haven't talk/text/contact in any sort of ways to them for a very long time, pleasant because it makes me remember that I used to have this MANY friends, and worry because... Things are not the same anymore. I know for a fact that I'm the most horrible friend anyone could ever have, I forgot my friendship faster than you can say... Whatever you wanna say, I always failed to appreciate my friends, I'm always "Me, me, me" and yes these always get in between my friendships and I blame no one else but me. But to quote from my best friend that I could be the most terrific one in my best mood, well yes I can. Like today, but that doesn't make up for what I did and behaved in the past. I'm also a little worried about... What do they think of me? I have almost forgotten about what had happened 5-6 years back, but have they? Will it be weird if I suddenly go "Hai! Lama tak borak! Apa khabar? Sorry been missing for so long." Of course it will that's so weird and creepy at the same time perempuan ini nak apa buang tebiat -_-". Anyway, I just... I don't know. I wish to make amends to my friends. I remember when everything was perfect and I have the best friends ever, sadly that moments never last for long. Looking back, I could see all those horrid memories I wish I could forget. If I could just look further I could see what I'm looking for. And wish I could have that again. But I've changed, people change, things changed, Henry played for Arsenal now in fact, so what do I expect kan? Eh sudahlah kau merapu apa panjang-panjang sini dok speaking London cakap Melayu tak boleh?